Three on a Keyboard
by arisaswordheart
Summary: Bella, Edward and Jacob are together in front of a computer [I know, how is that possible?]. So what kind of trouble will the trio get up to? [Warning: Not like AIM or Passing Notes but slightly similar] [Read and Review? Please?]
1. Introduction

**

* * *

Three on a Keyboard**

**Chapter 1 – Introduction**

**

* * *

Author's Note:** This was originally just a conversation with my 'other self', then halfway through – when a third 'self' appeared, I started to think it was a bit like Bella, Edward and Jacob talking. So that's what happened. I haven't ever written anything like this before... It's not AIM and it's not passing notes either, so I like to think this is a bit different. Enjoy! (Yay, finally a fic I can do without thinking… --;) 

By the way, _I realise that Edward is a little out of character – especially the way he talks_. That's just my sarcasm running to the MAX. I will fix this in the future.

**Disclaimer:** Do not own or claim to own Twilight (any aspect).

* * *

--

Bella – Normal, Edward – **Bold, **Jacob – _Italics_ (Nevermind why he is there in the first place, I mean… they're at school?)

--

Hey

**Hmm?**

What are you doing?

**Talking to you?**

Urgh. Other than that..:D;;

**Nothing much... talking to you.**

Oh... um, okay...

**Yes?**

Nothing to say now...

**Why did you open this?**

Well would you rather just do it on a Word Doc?

**I honestly wouldn't mind.**

You're strange, you. oo;

_Tell me about it._

Heyyy! Who are you?

**Get off.**

_No. Why?_

... Because?

_Pfft. As if I would._

**Not if I kick you.**

_You wouldn't dare._

**Who says?**

Umm...

**Yes?**

When did this conversation go to violence?

**Not my fault.**

_So your fault._

Break it up! Yeesh. How old are you two?

_Don't you know already?_

Rhetorical!!

**Duh.**

Not for some people it seems.

_That was entirely sarcastic, wasn't it?_

No kidding!

**Some people are just thick, never mind them.**

Good idea.

_Hey! This is about me isn't it?_

Oh, NO WAY. Well... what do you think?

_This is just mean now._

**Yeah, yeah.**

-.-;

_Hmm?_

Seriously, get off.

**Three people don't fit on one keyboard.**

You get off then!!

**I was here first.**

That's so childish.

**Whatever you say. Like you would know?**

'Cos we all know you're so smart. Ha.

_Hey! Stop ganging up here! Where's my support?_

You have none.

**I told you three people don't fit on one keyboard.**

_Oh, and four do?_

**You know what I mean.**

Let me squeeze in a word edgewise, _please_.

**Sorry.**

_Too right you should be._

**Huh. Not to you. Hmph.**

Hello??

**Sorry.**

_Sorry._

Good.

_But to be hogvfjfkoledtg HEY!_

No, don't glare at me. STOP IT. We have to go now, the bell just went. Go, shove.

_Fine._

Good.

**Gone yet?**

Yup.

**Good.**

You echoed me! Yeah, that's better.

**Agreed. (I did? Oh, yeah)**

We should get off too, huh?

**Guess so.**

Cya then.

**Bye.**

--

* * *

One word answers and so on, hmm? Need to fix that.** Review?**


	2. Question

**

* * *

Three on a Keyboard**

**Chapter 2: Question**

* * *

--

**Author's Note:** Haha, hopefully I remember that darned Network now. No particular reason I chose it. Noone is reading? That makes me kind of sad. –sigh- I even contemplated not posting this yet … Oh, and I bought some gold hair clips today. It took me a whole three hours of wearing them to realise that they were gold and gold has a special meaning. Yes, too many things are associated with Twilight. I like them though, even if I had not associated them. :)

**Disclaimer:** Why would Twilight ever belong to me? The characters and the books don't want me as their writer…

--

Bella – Normal, Edward – **Bold**, Jacob – _Italic_ (Still no reason to explain why he is there)

--

Hey?

**Not with that again.**

What do you mean by 'again'? T.T

_I sense annoyance…_

**And how would you know?**

Are you two going to fight again?

**No. I know it would upset you.**

_... hm._

Um… okay.

I'll just hog the keyboard again…

**I don't mind.**

_Huh? Howdi d tyou amnage to write wthoutg makignany mistalkes?_

Well, I probably would have expected it of him. Why aren't we talking though?

**We're not supposed to be talking in this class. I'm not even sure how we ended up three on the same computer.**

_Or how I ended up on this computer with you, anyway. Bella, I don't mind, but you?_

Huh. I thought it was unspoken agreement not to use names?

_Why?_

I don't know…um.

**Probably so that if the teacher happens to come around, it won't look suspicious.**

Just normal text on the page.

**Now you're getting it.**

_Hey, you two were hogging that keyboard again. How do I get a word in either way?_

**You're not supposed to.**

_Gee, thanks._

**Welcome.**

_Sarcasm!_

Figured. I think there's way too much sarcasm on both sides.

_Kind of hard not to have sarcasm, I reckon._

…

…? Nothing to say?

**Do you want me to say something?**

_I don't._

**Noone asked you.**

Hey, you two! I feel like… a parent. Ew. Well, I don't know. If you want to talk, then talk. If you don't… then… don't?

**Will do.**

_Err … I wasdfg AH!_

Sorry. I needed to ask though.

**You stole the mouse before, yes. I wonder how he managed to type anything with you clicking around.**

_That a compliment or something?_

**Not really.**

AHEM. As I was saying. Anyone know what Neural Networks are?

Anyone? E…

**Perhaps. Why?**

Well, you know everything right?

**I hope that wasn't at all sarcastic.**

It better not be.

**Neural networks…. It works like a human brain, has lots of simple processors like nerve cells (called neurons), and most neural networks contain a few thousand neurons where the brain had around 100 billion.**

_Where did you find that?_

Wow… you sure do know how to use a computer.

**Mm, should be expected. What else is there to do?**

You mean at…?

**Yes. Although I can't tell what you are thinking exactly, I think you are on the right track of what I mean.**

_A roundabout way of saying 'yes, you're absolutely right'?_

… Hmm.

Hello? Stop giving each other deathglares. Or Jacob, you stop anyway.

_Mutual agreement?_

Hey, you broke it once, so I – Hey!

_Sorry. You type pretty slowly._

Well I'm sorry!

**Better stop soon, teacher looks a little suspicious of us fighting over the keyboard.**

We don't fit on the same computer, remember?

_Someone could always get off._

…

…

I think I would rather it be noone.

**Why?**

Stop smiling! Well, I don't want to… choose I suppose.

_That's why … never mind. I'm sure you get what I'm thinking._

**I sure get it.**

_You, cheat. So you're really not counted._

**If you say so. Doesn't change anything though.**

_Ugh._

Better close it. He's coming over. Calm down you two!

--

* * *


	3. We Should Work

**

* * *

Three on a keyboard****

* * *

Author's Note:** This was written for the sake of writing it. xP; 

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is not mineh. Bah.

* * *

Bella – Normal, Edward – **Bold**, Jacob – _Italics_ (why is he there?)

* * *

I'm bored.

**This is what you do when you're bored?**

Don't sound so incredulous. The stuff the teacher is making us do doesn't really make sense.

**What do you need to know?**

More that I don't want it to make sense, really.

**If you're sure.**

I saw that massive hesitation.

_So did I._

**You keep off, please. Do what you want, I won't complain.**

_Are you sure?_

**What kind of thing are you implying?**

… We should get this done though, really.

**Alright.**

**Did we have to be in a group with him?**

Nothing we can do about it.

_Ic an read what your writign!_

Of course you can.

**We just haven't done anything in the last ten minutes, even after I stopped typing here.**

And now we are back! Maybe we'll just ignore him – I can do that if we need to work. Sigh.

**Alright, the ****first**** question then.**

_Aw, that stuff is boring. Not to mention I don't know it, really._

That's because you technically aren't in the same grade as we are.

_That makes me sadfg_

**No, I'm not apologizing. Can you two please focus for a while?**

You wound me. D;

**I'm sorry, but if you would like to get this done.**

I'm sure you'd be able to finish it at night?

**Well, of course, but we have to make some sort of attempt at 'group work' at school, or the teacher will get suspicious.**

Oh, good point.

_I still don't know this stuff._

**I don't know what you are doing here then.**

_Noone asked your opinion._

**Perhaps, but I like to provide it anyway. I can read your thoughts remember. Stop it!**

Break it up again! Hey, I thought you were the one who said we had to work! Yes, looking sheepish might help here.

**Sorry then.**

Not that I want to work.

_Ha._

_Hey._

You interrupted us again!

_It's been twelve minutes._

Twelve!

_More than last time._

We are never going to get anything done! Are you okay, Edward?

**Yes.**

Okay then.

_Stop looking so worried. He's a blood-sucking vamm,./_

Your hand is heavy, but I'm glad I stopped you. Why don't we just announce it to the world? You don't know where this document could end up!

_But you don't have to save it. Besides, I'm sure most people would be able to glean something from the 'blood sdufgi_

Sorry, sorry. I had to stop you there though. Once was bad enough.

**You have to stop now, the teacher is coming.**

Whaaat? But we were working before!

_It might be the keyboard snatching._

Blame it on me?

**Close it.**

You're typing backwards?!

**Close it, Bella.**

Okay, okay.

_Aw, no…_

Off the keyboard! Okay, Edward! I got it!

(closes)

--

* * *

Author's Note: Hmm. Weird?

**Review?**

--


	4. A Game

**

* * *

Three on a Keyboard**

Disclaimer: Twilight owned by Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Bella – normal, Edward – **bold**, Jacob - _italics

* * *

_

--

Hey, let's play a game.

**A game?**

Mm-hmm.

**We're in the middle of a class though?**

But I'm bored, I don't feel like working!

**Do you ever feel like working, Bella?**

Bella sometimes feels like working.

…

I'm starting the game, Edward. No, I'm not going crazy. That was just me playing the game. Relax.

**Alright, I won't have a heart attack. How do you play this game?**

Basically, someone says a sentence, and then the next person has to start their sentence with the last word of the previous person's sentence.

**You find this interesting…? Amusing?**

You get some pretty interesting sentences. Do you want to start? No? Okay, I'll start to be on the safe side.

_Can I play?_

I'm not sure it works with three people. Sit and watch for a while, okay? Then you can join. :)

_Sure._

Okay, um. Let's start. Uhrr…

Twilight is the safest time for a vampire.

**Vampires are mythical beings which technically shouldn't exist.**

_None of the mythical creatures should exist._

(Heyy! Lay off the keyboard!!) (Oh, you can elaborate words, guys. Like 'think' to 'thinking'. Umm.) Existing in the world means you are there physically.

**(I sure hope so) Physical Education is a class Bella does not excel in.**

(Not my fault I'm so clumsy…) In.. In… In the cage, there was a mountain lion.

**Lions are **

_What is this? It's not really… funny…_

Jacob! You interrupted!

_Sorry._

**Lions should not be… eaten.**

(?!) Eating is something only humans and animals do…

**Do you want to stop?**

Stopping is no fun!

**Fun is not really a factor in the equation.**

(Gak. Equation?)

**(Sorry.)**

Equations are mathematical … things… which should be left well alone.

_Alone, I waited for someone to ease my pain._

(!!) Pain is not a good emotion.

**Emotions are what Jasper specialises in.**

(Obviously)

_In po patria mori._

(?! What does that mean?)

_(I'm not sure, it just sprang to mind.)_

**Mori is Japanese for forest.**

(!! Wow, Edward!) Forests are places with… with many trees!

_Tree is where the bloodsucker will be when I throw him._

**(That didn't make sense. I doubt you could th**

(… No, you two aren't getting the keyboard back.) "Him?" he asked incredulously. "Are sure absolutely sure?"

_Sure, I'm sure._

(…) Sure is good then.

**Then why did that sentence not make sense?**

_Sense is something you do not have._

Having sense is something all have. Break it up.

**Up to heaven, you shall go, while I sink, down below.**

(!! That rhymed too!) Below is something I can bear, as long as there is an angel near.

_Nearly sick from that._

That's not nice… not at all.

**All freeze.**

**Freezed, you are. Now I maybe we should get on with some work?**

Work is no fun – never is. Freezed is meant to be frozen though.

**Though sense it does not make, no other way can be used to make it fit.**

_Fit from excercising so much, some people have very good indurance._

(Endurance, you mean?) Endurance is not for me.

_Me-thinks you are fine._

**Fine, you say, however, 'methinks' is one word only.**

Only you would spot that.

**That I will take as compliment.**

_Compliments I do not get._

Getting ridiculous is this game.

**Games I do not play often.**

Often do I wonder if that is true.

_Truth does not come from his lips._

…

…

I'm stuck. You?

**I don't think you would like what I have in mind.**

_Or me…_

It's something weird, isn't it?

**No doubt.**

_Like you can talk?_

**(Oh..) Talking I am not doing. Merely typing.**

_(-rolls eyes-) Typing is the same thing._

Thing, you say. Funny enough, we can see you rolling your eyes. You don't say!

_Say what?_

**What are you typing?**

_Typing the words which make up the game._

…

…

After a detour, we're kind of stuck again.

_Again, we swerve and change to another sentence._

**Sentence after sentence. We have begun thrice?**

Thrice is right, I believe.

_Believe you love me. You must!_

**Must she? …**

She mustn't do anything unless she wants to.

**Too true.**

_Truth is not your nature._

Nature makes things grow.

_(Urgh…) Growing up is a great journey in life._

Life eludes me. I didn't know you were a poet.

**Poet does not exist in his vocabulary.**

Vocabulary of Edward is so immense humans often can't keep up.

_Up…up…up the stairs I ran._

Ran into… a wall.

**Walls are made of bricks. Obviously.**

_Obviously that wasn't necessary._

**Necessity can only be determined by certain individuals.**

Individuals are stretching the rules of the game a little thin.

_Thinness can result in anorexia if the method used is not eating._

**Eating, I cannot do.**

Do you think I should cut my hair?

_Hair is long, if you want to cut you can. That was random._

Random is fun.

**Fun should be this game. We're returning to the beginning.**

Beginnings and ends.

_Ends and beginnings._

Oh hey! Now it doesn't work…

**Do you want to continue?**

You asked if I wanted to stop before. Change of heart?

**Can't really change it.**

Stop grinning!

_Uhm._

Yeah, I agree.

_Let's close this and get to work._

**Before the teacher massacres us for playing around.**

-closes-

--

* * *

**Author's Note:** Review?

I was playing the game with my lil' bro yesterday. Seemed more fun then, I don't know. We kept going back to the words 'pony' and 'can' though – I was usually the one winding him up in circles. xD;

* * *


	5. Exchange Student

**

* * *

Three on a Keyboard**

**Chapter 5 – Exchange Student**

_

* * *

Note:_ Only three on a keyboard allowed at any one given time for the course of this story. (To stay within the rules which the title of the story imposes)**

* * *

Author's Note:** I noticed that Twilight didn't seem to do any sort of testing like we do. Not … like I would know, but... SATs or whatever examinations. Just general school ones. That doesn't sit exactly right with me. 

Also, this was more for myself. As someone not American, I find sometimes it annoying to have to switch everything so I can understand it. Sometimes, I really do get a little annoyed. Maybe you'll understand when you read on.

* * *

--

Bella – Normal, Edward – **Bold**, Jacob – _Italic_, Exchange Student (Amber) – Underline

--

What do you do at the end of the year when there's nothing to do?

**Was that meant to be a trick question?**

Not really. I'm being really serious.

**And yet, I highly doubt it.**

But I truly am! See?

You don't believe me, do you? You know I'm a terrible actor!

_So what do you do at the end of the year?_

You sit and you watch movies for the whole entire day.

_You do?!_

Well… yes… kind of.

**That could be likely. There is not much to do at the end of the year.**

_Hm. Hey, Bella, I need to go for a minute, okay. I'll see you later._

? Well, okay.

Hello!

Why am I typing a message for you? Well, it's kind of fun, actually. I'm not sure myself. Come join in!

Um. Hello.

**Who are you?**

Uhr, I'm Amber and I'm an Exchange Student.

Uhuh.

I noticed how things work here that work differently back home.

**Which country are you from?**

Australia

Ah, so you write 'color' as 'colour' and … so on?

Well, yes. So that looks a little foreign to me.

**As must your way to us?**

Well. I suppose so. –mollified-

Don't use that please?

Sorry.

**So what's different?**

You always ask good questions. :)

**Thanks**

Er.

**Go on.**

Well, since we are in Year 12 this year…

Yup, a graduating year.

We would have HSCs…

What does that stand for?

**Higher School Certificate?**

You know?

**I may have heard it in passing.**

Wow.

…

Any other differences?

The accent could take getting used to.

**As could yours I think, from what the others seem to be thinking.**

Edward!

**From what I've heard.**

?! You both seem… a little tense all of a sudden.

Oh, we do? Thanks for noticing…

No need for that tone, thanks.

Sorry…

S'ok.

… We say things differently….

Really?

**Would you care to provide us with an example?**

Well, as far as I can remember right now, you would say harassment as… ha-rass-ment. Kind of thing, yes?

Lost me for a bit, but I think I get the general.. gist. Go on…

But we (or we're supposed to) go har-ass-ment. Kind of.

That's very… weird.

You don't get it do you?

No.

**I think I can understand. Wait a second, Bella.**

Oh, okay. Hmm, I do find that rather… intriguing, I think.

Do you mind if I…? No? Are you sure? Okay, thanks.

Color/color, neighbor/neighbour, honor/honour, criticize/criticise… etc

Does… oh? Sorry. Continue, please.

One thing that does annoy me is 'mom' and 'mum'.

It… annoys you?

A lot.

**Why?**

It just doesn't work for me. It's always been 'mum' and said in that way. Hearing 'mom' and seeing it spelt like that is very strange – in a way.

**I think I can understand that a little bit.**

You can?

**Carlisle is from London, remember?**

Oh. I see. Did he have to change the way he does things too?

**I'm not sure.**

Well, it's just how I think sometimes. The world is becoming more… Americanised/ized. I dare say we will be using those terms more in the future.

It's meant to be, um, proper English, is that right? The, mum thing?

**Apparently.**

**Europe would still be using it though?**

That's a very good point. Oh, wait. What were your names? I'm sorry.

xD That's alright. Where are our manners?

**I thought you told her my name.**

You snatched the keyboard off me! Well, did I? I don't remember.

I'm Bella, and this is Edward.

I told you I am Amber.

**Yes, I do remember.**

It's been nice talking to you.

Ah, the teacher's calling you.

Although your habit, or game, was very weird, it was also very fun. Thank you. Bye!

Thanks for contributing.

Now what should we do?

**I believe we can pack up now. It's just about time for the end of the period.**

Aw, already?

_I'm back._

Jacob!

_Do anything interesting? Well, except for with _him

That's terrible.

**Terrible?**

He has terrible thoughts.

**The bell has rung. We should head towards our next class, otherwise we will be late.**

Tardy?

_I'll stay for a bit._

**Suit yourself.**

_I will._

Bye!

-End-

--

* * *

**Please Note:** Any offence which may have happened to enter the chapter was not intended or directed at anyone. Please notify. 

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is not mine. I just own the exchange student's opinion and her name. My secondary pseudonym is Amber. Isn't that as good as meeting them myself? xD

Disclaimer 2: These fics have no basis besides my life, therefore there will probably be no other citing for inspiration - apart from family, I suppose. Or perhaps an idea which I had before. Anyway. Any MSN conversation I might have had would most likely be more on schoolwork or Twilight Critique (rebutting) anyway and therefore, not useful for the purposes of this story. ;)

**Review?**

* * *


	6. Plagiarism and Madness

**

* * *

Three on a Keyboard**

Chapter 6: Plagiarism and Madness

* * *

Author's Note: Combating Plagiarism. Also: Signs of Madness.

Disclaimer: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Idea by me. Madness Signs by myself, A and L.

* * *

--

Bella – Normal, Edward – **Bold**, Jacob – _Italic_

--

Hey.

**Are you always the one to start these?**

What is that supposed to mean?

**Sorry, sorry.**

That's alright.

_So what were you saying?_

Well, I wasn't exactly, though I did want to say something.

**Spit it out.**

I hate people who plagiarize.

_Plagiarize?_

Copy other people's work without referencing them.

Why didn't you give the definition, Edward? You could have done it better, I'm sure.

**You should understand.**

Well. One of the main reasons I do much of the talking is because of you two.

**Back to plagiarism, please.**

Well, as I was saying.

_Ah, I see. But what if someone unintentionally copies? Like they just had the same idea?_

You would need evidence before you charge them for plagiarizing, I suppose?

**That's right. So you have to be very sure.**

I thought you might know more than me about this kind of thing. ;)

**It's hard not to know many things after such a long time.**

…_That sounded kind of strange… nevermind_

_So what about this copying thing again._

We have a problem staying on track or what?

_Yeah, we probably do._

**You should also note that was meant to be a **_**rhetorical**_** question.**

_Stick to your font!_

**With all these fonts at my disposal, why not use a few other ones for … fun?**

Hahah. _This is Bella speaking._

_You stole my font!_

_Hm. Is _that_ plagiarizing?_

No?

**We're simply using the fonts. You don't own them. They're also licensed to be used by everyone.**

_So I could talk_** like this if I wanted to**

**It is not recommended, of course.**

I see a dangerous gleam in your eye. I would back away…. now.

**That would be a very good idea.**

I don't know what scares me more. The calmness or the… other emotion.

**I'm sure Jasper would know it.**

…_I can never squeeze in a word edgewise with you two around._

**Good for you.**

Okay. I've decided the calmness scares me.

Back on subject, you two. So what do you think about plagiarism?

**It's hard to keep on it seeing that there is not that much to discuss, in truth.**

Geh. Well, any stories about it? I know someone who got their work copied. Or at least they think so.

_Do you know them well?_

**What are you suggesting?**

Er… well, not exactly. But they are very nice, definitely.

**You're terrible.**

Who?

**Don't sound so indignant, love. It was directed at the pup.**

_Back to insults are we, leech?_

**That looks so much better on paper.**

… _Was that meant to be a joke?_

**Not exactly.**

Uhm. Well, so it's like this. I would play a game with you two, but then I would be afraid of copying another person's thing.

_Uhuh._

So I am hesitant. Though if you ask permission and reference the person you got it from, then you can use it.

_It is that simple?_

Yep.

_Then why doesn't everyone who copies do it?_

**They don't want to admit they copied it.**

Back again Edward?

_He went somewhere?_

He disappeared off the keyboard, yes.

_I hardly count that as anywhere, really._

**You probably would.**

How can you be simultaneously helpful and insulting, Edward? xD;

**It is a fine art.**

I don't doubt it.

_I think I could do that._

**Minus the helpful bit, I would presume.**

_You are… implying, I am not helpful?_

**To say the least.**

_Well……………_

No comeback? Err, moving on then, shall we?

It's very quiet…

Edward?

Jacob?

Edward?

Edward??

_Whyu is his name theremore thann mine?_

Pri…orities?

**I see.**

_It's harder to read when separated… pri orities?_

**I am baffled. Utterly baffled.**

Uhm, that was 'priorities', Jacob.

_Nice to know I am loved._

Isn't it?

That was sarcastic! Stop sulking!

Or am I being harsh?

Hello?

Why am I being deserted?

**Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.**

And what is hearing voices in your head?

**Hmm. Strangely it never made the C-A list.**

C-A?

**Just the people that created it.**

I see. Can I see this list?

**Give me all of about one minute.**

**1. Talking to self**

**2. Having an imaginary friend.**

**3. Thinking that nothing is solid.**

**4. Thinking that you and the people around you are all infected with a horrible skin disease.**

**5. Believing you're a vampire.**

**6. Self torture**

**7. Thinking the aliens are coming ("And they're out to get me!").**

I am laughing at No. 5. Definitely.

**No need to tell me. I think they can hear it from outside the school. The teacher is suspicious.**

That makes you officially mad then.

**Wonderful.**

_Why vampires? Why not werewolves?_

**Stop feeling sorry for yourself.**

_I'm not!_

**You forget I can read your thoughts. You most definitely are, I can confirm.**

_Brilliant._

**Not that I want to. You're shouting all the time.**

Hmm.

That's pretty cool. xD

**There's another one.**

A different version?

**That's right. The L-A version.**

A change of letters.

_Seems so._

**Here:**

**1. Hair on the back of hands**

**2. Looking for it.**

**3. Asking for the third sign and eager to find fourth.**

**4. Asking for the fourth sign and eager to fifth.**

**5. Accepting it.**

**6. Excitement.**

**7. Getting eager about.**

**8. Loosing pencil case mysteriously.**

**9. Getting outsmarted by L. M.**

**10. There is none.**

They make me strangely anxious.

_Really?_

Yes.

**You need to ask?**

_What if it was rhetorical, leech?_

Quit the insults.

_Sorry._

**Sorry.**

Let's stop before I split my seams laughing.

**Very Well**

-End-

--

* * *

**Notes:**

"Uhm. Well, so it's like this. I would play a game with you two, but then I would be afraid of copying another person's thing.**"**

- this is relating to this Fanfic. I would play a game here, but then it would be inspired by someone else's fic. I would need to ask permission – kind of – and reference the 'inspiree'.

* * *

**To combat plagiarism:**

**Seven Signs of Madness (C-A Version)** – Is property of myself and Amy, who created them two years ago.

**Signs of Madness No. 2 (L-A Version)** – Is property of Laura and Amy, who created them two years ago also. L.M. is short for Laura's name.

* * *

**Review?

* * *

**


	7. Chicken Jokes

**

* * *

Three on a Keyboard**

**Chapter 7: Chicken Jokes**

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Terrible? Or not? 

**Disclaimer:** Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Jokes by me and A. Chicken by who knows who?

* * *

--

Bella – Normal, Edward – **Bold**, Jacob – _Italic_, Alice – Underline

--

Do you two like Chicken jokes?

_Whoa. Where did that come from._

**An unexpected question.**

Well?

_I guess so._

**Provide an example first, perchance?**

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

_That's the oldest on ever._

Corny jokes. Got to love them. ;)

**Hmm.**

Another?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get back to the side of the road it was originally on.

**Application of logic.**

_Not so funny, I guess._

You do one.

_Me? Well… alright then._

_Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was going the wrong way._

**In reality, that could happen.**

None of us seem very good at this, really. xD Edward? You have one?

**Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't.**

I snorted at that one… but that was the …

_Lamest joke ever?_

No.

**I can tell otherwise.**

You can't read my mind!

**It's your expression that gives you away. Alright, I heard another one.**

**Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was too 'chicken' to cross the freeway.**

That's not bad! I knew you were good at everything. ;)

Don't look at me doubtfully!

**Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was tipsy.**

_Tipsy?_

Drunk?

**Yes, it means drunk.**

Ok. ;) Jacob, you want to do another one?

_You first, Bella._

Alright then.

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A: It was dared not to.

_That's not a chicken joke! That's a non-chicken joke!_

Then just delete the 'not's…

_Then it is "Q:_ Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was dared to._"?_

**In the essence.**

You've been quiet.

**Unless you would like another, I suppose.**

Jacob first. Then you?

**Fine.**

_Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: COZ IT FELT LIKE CROSSING THE ROAD_

**That's pretty obvious.**

You expect the unexpected … or not? I'm confusing myself.

**Should I go ahead?**

Please do.

**Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was an electronic chicken.**

Interesting one! xD

_But highly unnecessary._

**You can be so literate when you want to.**

_Quietly insulting, are we?_

Uhm. When did we start fighting, you two?

Anyway:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the light went green.

_That's pretty good. ;)_

Thank you.

**Interesting interpretation of crossing the road there.**

Am I good or what? ;)

**Undeniably.**

Thank you, although that was rhetorical…

**I would answer in any event.**

_Enough with that._

**Ah, finished with your thinking?**

_As a matter of fact, well, yes._

_Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It left something on the other side._

_A: Why did the chicken cross the road? Q: It was going to school._

_Two in one! How about that?_

**It should be **Q:** and then **A:** for one.**

_Well, _sorry_ about the mistakes._

Now who's stealing fonts? –sigh-

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I dunno. Why did the human cross the road?

**I don' know either, I assure you.**

I'm glad. Let's be vague and confused together.

…_uh_

Come join, Jacob!

_Nevermind._

… ok then. Suit yourself, please.

_O: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To hide from the cat that was chasing it._

I thought that was rather creative.

**It is supposed to be a **Q**, please note.**

_Thanks, but no thanks._

**Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was sleepwalking...**

**No comments?**

**None it seems.**

**Or Bella has fallen asleep.**

Wha? Wha? Oh, sorry. Hey… that related to the …

_Huh._

_Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, it was just a human in a chicken suit._

I like that.

Oh, me me!!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A?

**Why do I get the feeling that was utterly pointless?**

I have not the foggiest idea.

_Oh the underlying meaning._

**You can be perceptive too if you **think** more.**

… uh

_Not very helpful, thanks._

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You're not a 'cool' chicken unless you cross the road.

_You have a flair for this, Bella!_

**Prejudiced, you are.**

_You are more so._

… do you two always do this?

**More jokes? Lame ones?**

Thanks. (You brushed aside my comment! D; )

**(Sorry)**

_Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was controlled by the bubblegum._

**Bubblegum?**

Yeah, haven't you heard it? ;) Q: Why did the bubblegum cross the road? A: It was stuck to the chicken's foot. Ooh, I like that.

Let me! Let me!

Alice?

You pushed Jacob off!

Sorry.

Now he walked off sulking.

'Oops'?

… Okay. Back on, I suppose. Nothing I can do.

**Sure there is. You just cannot see it.**

Well, I don't think I want to anyway.

**Suit yourself, love.**

I will.

Hey!

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because chickens weren't invented yet!

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A: Cos' the gum stuck the chicken to the sidewalk.

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A: It was too chicken to.

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A: 

But it did cross the road!

Q: Why did Tweety cross the road? A: He didnt, it was just the chicken in disguise.

Q: Why did the human cross the road? A: You asked that before!! Why did the chicken cross the road?

Q: Why did the human cross the road? A: They didnt, it was the chickens in Chicken Run pretending to be a human.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the river? A: It was dragged across by a fisherman who had hooked it accidentally.

Hey, you are good at this! I should have guessed Cullens are good at everything.

**That seems high praise.**

Well, I suppose we can stop. I'm sapped of ideas.

Oh! Oh! One last one?

Alright then, Alice.

Uhoh. Why did Edward just groan Alice?

Be patient, Bella.

Q: Why did the vampire cross the road?

Why?

A: To save the girl on the other side. ;)

Aw, that's actually very sweet.

_Now I can talk, seeing as there are only two people here now. Edward and Alice – leeches._

Hey!

_And Bella is too busy hugging the bloodsucker._

**You seem very disappointed.**

_I should be._

**Perhaps.**

_Your comments do not fail to make me …_

Hold that thinly veiled insult. Alice, you have to get off, there are four people now.

Not fair!

Sorry.

Thank for getting off for a moment, Edward.

**No problem.**

**We should all get off, actually. It's time to go.**

Alright.

It was fun. Thank you.

_Hmm. I guess so. Thanks, Bella. Even if the bl –_

-Ends without Jacob ever finishing any more sentences-

--

* * *

**Chicken Jokes: **Created two years ago by myself and Amy, apart from the dinosaur joke and the first chicken joke.

(c) 2005 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce or circulate without permission from the author(s). Thank you. ;)

**Thanks for reading.** Were the chicken jokes lame? I deleted a few. Let me know.

**Review?**


End file.
